So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
