careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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