also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
