Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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