bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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