Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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