how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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