I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I can tuck mytits in my pants
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
