whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
