I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
