it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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