my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
