THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
