Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
