I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
