i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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