she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
