none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
