You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
