Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
