She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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