I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
