I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
