Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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