He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
