Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
