Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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