i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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