i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
