You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
love makes seman taste better
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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