hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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