So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
