I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
