Duck Duck Cougar?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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