Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
