Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
