yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
