I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
