Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
