Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
