It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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