dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
