After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My liver just had a heart attack.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
