What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
