whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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