I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
