This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
