I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
