I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
