i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
