i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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