Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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