I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
