we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
